Research Based Parenting

I’m Sandra Helmke, a parenting educator.

I’m here because I am passionate about helping parents find ways to bring peace and guidance back into their interactions with their kids.

I believe in connection before correction, because the science shows it works long term. I support kind, clear communication for it’s calming affect on both parent and child. When working with Autistic children or those with ADHD, I recommend education resources and awareness. I’ve found these parenting principles are so helpful with neurodivergent children. They really benefit from the structure and from feeling understood.

The path of parent coaching has been an imperfect, yet successful experience for me. I have learned to talk to my kids in ways where they will listen to me and give authentic responses, even the teens. I’m confident that embracing this opportunity to grow and learn alongside your children will build a foundation of love, respect, and understanding in your household. We can explore effective, science based communication strategies to nurture cooperation and connection in your family. Together we’ll unravel the issues standing in your way.

Long Term Parenting is all about stepping away from punishment and rewards, and teaching children to problem solve the issues with parents. We leave behind techniques that only work in the short term, and focus on the present and future lessons we want to teach. These parenting principles offer respectful communication opportunities, resilience in children and more connection between child and parent. I teach research based techniques that can be put into practice right away.

Much of my thinking comes from authors that have carried me through fourteen years of my own parenting. Take a look at some of my influences.

I learned the science from Dr. Daniel Siegel’s books:

The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies To Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind,

The Yes Brain: How To Cultivate Courage, Curiosity and Resilience In Your Child,

No Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way To Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind,

Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain.

Beyond Behaviors, by Moana DeLahooke

Other influences have been:

Positive Discipline: The Classic Guide to Helping Children Develop Self-discipline, Responsibility, Cooperation, and Problem-solving Skills, by Jane Nelson,

Positive Discipline For Teenagers: Empowering Your Teens and Yourself Through Kind and Firm Parenting, by Jane Nelson,

The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children, by Shefali Tsabary,

Finding The Magic In Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years, by Chris Balme,

The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them ,by Elain Aron,

You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships, by Richard Schwartz,

The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion & Connection, by Brene Brown.

Non Violent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg PhD